Nice Subaru. Please explain.
There are two sides to the Subaru debate. People who are lesbians, and people who would like you to know that they aren’t.
Both have purchased the same evidence.
This creates a difficult situation in parking lots.
On one side is the Subaru lesbian. She has a girlfriend, a dog, and a vehicle that accommodates both. From a logistical standpoint, everything is going well.
On the other side are the Subie bros ’n’ hoes. They also enjoy a practical vehicle. They just didn’t realize it would come with an obligation to explain who they’re sleeping with.
At Trash Flowers, we looked at this divide and asked an important question.
Could both sides buy a hat?
The answer was yes.
The Subaru lesbian enters this conflict in a strong position. She doesn’t have to clarify anything. You’ve looked at the car, made an assumption, and happened to be correct. Everyone can get on with their afternoon.
Maybe she has hiking boots by the door. Maybe her girlfriend is also wearing hiking boots. Maybe neither of them is going hiking today. They just like to be ready.
At a certain point, fighting the cliché becomes more work than simply driving it to brunch.
Our Subie Lesbian Girl Badge of Honor trucker hat allows her to formally accept the findings.
Yes, it’s her Subaru. Yes, that’s her girlfriend. The dog is theirs jointly.
There’s something reassuring about a person whose hat, car, and personal life have reached an agreement.
Across the parking lot, negotiations are ongoing.
The Subie bro would like to explain that he bought his car for the engine. He is prepared to explain the engine as well. You should avoid looking interested unless you have forty minutes.
He’s changed the exhaust, upgraded the wheels, and spent a considerable amount of money making sure his Subaru expresses his individuality.
He parks next to six identical ones on Sundays.
The non-lesbian Subie girl has a different problem. She liked the color. She needed cargo space. She made what she thought was a transportation decision.
Now she’s standing outside a coffee shop saying, “No, that’s my friend,” to someone who only asked if the passenger seat was taken.
These drivers deserve a voice.
They already have a horn, but it lacks nuance.
Enter the Defiant Subie Girl/Bro trucker hat. A chance to get ahead of the conversation by wearing your opening statement.
Being mistaken for a lesbian is, of course, completely fine. But so is wanting to correct the record using an accessory that ensures everyone notices there is a record.
You could tell people individually. That requires being present, speaking, and occasionally removing an earbud.
A hat delegates.
Unfortunately, a hat only works while you’re wearing it near the car. Eventually, you’ll need to go into a building. Your Subaru will remain outside, unattended, making allegations.
This is where the bumper sticker becomes essential.
The Defiant Not a Lesbian Subie Girl/Bro sticker keeps your statement attached to the source of the confusion.
You’re inside buying groceries. Your car is outside issuing a denial.
For the lesbian who would prefer her Subaru to continue telling the truth, there’s the Subie Lesbian Girl Badge of Honor sticker.
Think of it as confirming your reservation.
Some might argue that buying a sticker to insist you’re not a lesbian suggests you’ve spent a surprising amount of time thinking about strangers thinking you’re a lesbian.
Others might argue that buying a sticker announcing you are a lesbian is unnecessary when your girlfriend is literally getting into the car.
Both arguments overlook something important.
Stickers are fun.
You can be a walking lesbian cliché. You can be a Subie bro with a detailed maintenance spreadsheet. You can be a girl who just wanted to bring a bookshelf home without asking someone with a truck.
There is room for all of you.
That was, presumably, one of the selling points of the vehicle.
At Trash Flowers, we refuse to take sides in this conflict. Taking sides would exclude potential customers, and we’ve already made the hats.
Embrace the stereotype. Dispute the stereotype. Put your position on your forehead and continue buying dog food.
We hope these products help both sides find common ground.
There’s a good chance it’s the same campsite.